that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
