i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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