i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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