dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
