How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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