if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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