The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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