My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize