I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
