You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
