I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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