okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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