She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
