you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
