Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
