Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize