you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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