A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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