in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
