Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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