Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
