I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
