He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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