no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to calm my uterus...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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