remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My dick has a subreddit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
