When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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