Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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