She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
