i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
