Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
