I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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