That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
do nipples grow back?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
