are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
