it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
