dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
