I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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