sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
