I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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