And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
