we're chasing vodka with high fives
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
