I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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