All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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