nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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