It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
