Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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