So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
