She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
