i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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