sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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