It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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