im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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