i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize