I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
