i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize