That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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