That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Text me some of your sweat
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
