I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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