glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
