I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
