ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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