How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
