Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
